Ambien. No doubt about it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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