Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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