Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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