The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it's like heaven, but drunker
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
