I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
