Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
