Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Let's get the cat blown out
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