i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i drank out of a bidet.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
