Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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