Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
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I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize