I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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