Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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