I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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