So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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