I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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