im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
