I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
