It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
