I puked a lego.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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