I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
