One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
