Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
