Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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