Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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