so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
