oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
