He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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