id be glad to
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
