I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
