How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize