You can't motorboat a personality
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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