That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
