Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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