Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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