there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
