found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Acid is not a monday night drug
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
