If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize