Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
