If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
