I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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