I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
