Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
