Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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