In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
did you just send me my own nude
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
