my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
