You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize