i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize