Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
