Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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