Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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