Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
organizing the empties. That sober.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
