This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
