im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just cropdusted the office
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
