2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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