Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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