I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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