David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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