For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
