thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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