I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Enjoy the penises
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
